Minister’s Musings – January 2014

I strive to be calm. Over the years I have developed a special emotional meaning for that word. C.A.L.M. is an Acronym standing for Connected, Aware, Liberal and Moral? Below is my chart of emotional well being.

1. Asleep/     Bored 2.  Calm 3. Slight 4. Emotional 5. Intense 6. Out of Control
Apathetic Connected Disappointed SAD Grieving Depressed
Unconscious Aware Anxious SCARED Panic Paranoia
Selfish Liberal Pleased GLAD Ecstasy Manic
Antisocial Moral Irritated MAD Rage Manic

The first column is asleep or bored. All of us need sleep to be healthy. We sleep for 1/3 of our days. Some days we spend the other 2/3rd of our lives emotionally asleep.

The fourth column lists the four emotions which I define as:

  • Sad is having lost someone, something, or some ideal that one had in the past.
  • Scared is believing you will lose someone, something, or some ideal in the future.
  • Glad is having a need or a want satisfied.
  • Mad is wanting a need or want to be satisfied.

Things happen in our life that disturb our calm. Emotions can be unsettling But they are also the source of much of the richness and meaning in our life. One strategy is to shut off our emotions and live in the numbness of column 1. This strategy avoids pain but it also robs us of pleasure. When we are experiencing pain or pleasure we can remember our inner calm.

Connection is important. We cannot feel sadness unless we feel connected to what has been lost. To recover from sadness one should reconnect. The grieving spouse reconnects both to memories of the departed and to the new possibilities that the world holds.

Awareness is important. Be aware of all the negative and positive in life. We get scared when we are overwhelmed by the negative. By being aware of all that we have and will have in the future, it is easier to cope with what might be lost as our life constantly changes.

Liberal generosity is important. If we are prepared to give or share, then anything we receive is an unexpected joy. Conversely if we want everything for ourselves, then nothing is ever enough. Sharing is a natural response to happiness. Sharing a good dinner or a good joke makes it even more enjoyable.

When we are out of control we need the help of others. The violent, depressed, paranoid, and manic need treatment. We can tell when we are out of control. It is when we react the same way emotionally regardless of the input.

If someone says to us, “I like you:”

  • When we are depressed we will say, “you don’t really like me. I am unlikeable.”
  • When we are manic we will say, “how exciting! Let’s get physical.”
  • When we are paranoid we wonder, “what is the hidden agenda?”
  • When we are violent, we push them away.

If someone says to us ,“I do not like you:”

  • When we are depressed we say, “of course, I am unlikeable.”
  • When we are manic we say, “how exciting! Let’s get physical!”
  • When we are paranoid we say, “I always suspected that.”
  • When we are violent, we push them away.

When we are C.A.L.M., we do not have to go into a tailspin if someone says they not like us.
We are still connected to them. We just need to determine how close that connection will be.
Being aware of your actions and the possible source of their feelings may improve future interactions.

A liberal spirit will give them the right to their own opinion.
A moral compass will help you recognize their right to co-exist with you on this planet.

Life is not always calm, but we may find peace if we seek to be connected, aware, liberal, and moral.

Hopefully CALM,
Rev. Charlie


One thought on “Minister’s Musings – January 2014

  1. Pingback: Lighted Chalice Weekly for Dec 28, 2013 | Unitarian Universalist Church

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